Jan 7, 2012

Toast

four FSMs
The great Flying Spaghetti Monster appears miraculously on toast.  (Source)

Toast is a favorite medium of deities for communication to the mortal world. It is also a delicious breakfast food. And lunch food, and dinner food, and snack food. 

But I can never seem to get the toaster to cooperate. Especially if I'm using an unfamiliar toaster, I have to hover over it and poke at it constantly to catch my toast in the 1 second stage between "cold" and "ashes." Fortunately, poet Piet Hein has come up with a solution for me, and for anyone else who has this problem.

TIMING TOAST
There's an art to knowing when.
Never try to guess.
Toast until it smokes and then
twenty seconds less.

Forget about killing Hitler; when time travel is invented, it's most popular use will be toast.

So how do you like your toast? Just warm? Black and crispy? What toppings? Or are you a toast hater?

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22 comments:

  1. BaurJanuary 7, 2012 at 9:44 PM

    I like it just starting to get brown that's my favorite. Unless its for a sandwitch that I plan to eat much later then its better to not be crispy cuz that turns to mush lol.

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  2. annoymouseJanuary 7, 2012 at 10:41 PM

    This is proof! The Flying Spaghetti Monster exists! The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the one true church! Wow, this is like our version of the shroud of turin! And btw, I eat my toast with butter and a local coconut jam called kaya. I swear its the best toast combination EVER!

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  3. OneJanuary 7, 2012 at 11:04 PM

    I'm with you on just brown, Baur. I don't quite understand people who like it super dark.

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  4. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2012 at 12:57 AM

    Now I'm hungry.

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  5. The ObserverJanuary 8, 2012 at 2:17 AM

    exactly!!!!

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  6. Heaven.January 8, 2012 at 2:24 AM

    The third setting on my toaster with a little bit of strawberry jam.

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  7. hipster.brahJanuary 8, 2012 at 4:34 AM

    hehehe. crispy with butter or cream cheese.

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  8. InfinitePlansJanuary 8, 2012 at 5:43 AM

    Another one on just brown, it should be a little crispy but not too much!

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  9. Zap McBlowfistJanuary 8, 2012 at 8:29 AM

    You've made me a believer and a follower!!! great post lols

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  10. psychology-knowledgeJanuary 8, 2012 at 10:26 AM

    This post was nice. But I`m not really into the regular toast. I prefer French toast. It`s a dish of white bread soaked in beaten eggs and then fried. I usually add cinnamon to beaten eggs, to make it taste awesome.

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  11. Vulcan RavenJanuary 8, 2012 at 10:57 AM

    you ever tried to make toasts in the fire, with one of those?

    http://img2.mlstatic.com/s_MLB_v_O_f_217645304_8888.jpg

    it's a little tricky, but best tosts ever!

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  12. AdamJanuary 8, 2012 at 11:34 AM

    not a toast fan

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  13. AstraJanuary 8, 2012 at 8:59 PM

    I like toast with grape jelly

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  14. Miguel SanchezJanuary 9, 2012 at 3:43 AM

    I like my toast warm, right before it get's toasty. Mmmmm!

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  15. BragonDornJanuary 9, 2012 at 9:47 PM

    It seems as if it was toasted a little off proportion. The only part toasted is the centerish..

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  16. TechGuruJanuary 11, 2012 at 8:54 AM

    hate sharing a house because flatmates keep messing with the toaster settings and I've had black toast several times as a result

    I am mostly into Marmite as a topping

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  17. FitizenJanuary 12, 2012 at 5:51 PM

    MEDIUM RARE

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  18. jamesJanuary 13, 2012 at 10:12 PM

    :( my toaster broke toady! But i love toast! Now following!

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  19. SliverJanuary 16, 2012 at 1:50 PM

    I'm golden brown all the way!

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  20. MadTingzJanuary 16, 2012 at 6:03 PM

    its gotta be on white bread and with marmite! love it! now following.

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  21. AxisJanuary 26, 2012 at 8:30 PM

    Golden brown. Don't like to too burnt.

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  22. MunirGhiasuddinFebruary 28, 2012 at 9:53 PM

    Those slices of bread look very scary to me. I like my toast light brown.

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Discuss!

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