Balloons

Balloons are another of those things that no one can hate. They are fun at birthday parties, they can make you fly, they can tell the weather, and they can be clothes.

In any color, shape, and size imaginable, there's a balloon for everyone!

They make funny squeaky noises, and are useful for scaring small children when they pop.

What's the best kind of balloon?

Houses

No, houses.

Yes. There are lots of places to live - apartments, castles, vans, under bridges, etc. There are pros and cons with sticking to a good old house, and pros and cons to renting versus buying the sucker. 

Living in a house is sweet because it's a place to yourself - you can usually have sex without your neighbors hearing. But of course with great privacy comes great responsibility, and a great migration of money from your pocket. 

If you buy the house, it's yours. You have the security of ownership. On the other hand, when the heater breaks, it's your own damn problem. And assuming you don't have the cash sitting around to hand over immediately, you're stuck with loans. Getting mortgages, for people with bad credit, isn't fun times. Having one, and needing to refinance the mortgage isn't fun times. Looking for mortgage refinance no closing costs isn't fun times. 

But you can cover the living room in peanut butter and no one will give a shit.

House, bungalow, dollhouse, apartment, what's your choice? 

Tic-Tac-Toe

Tic-Tac-Toe, or noughts and crosses, or whatever the hell you call it, is an ages old game of skill and chance.

The skill required is having a functioning brain. The chance aspect is that you can only hope your opponent lacks a functioning brain. If you both have IQs over 80, you are doomed to ties until one of you gnaws your hand off. 

Apparently the Romans did it right, and only gave each player 3 markers to move around the board, allowing games to take more than 5 seconds.

Do you prefer Xs or Os?

Kittens

Everyone loves kittens. If you don't like kittens, meet me by the big oak tree behind the barn and I'll fight you, you monster.

Kittens will snuggle you and love you and gnaw your face off. They will cover your furniture, clothes, and children with fur, and you will rub your face in it, sneeze yourself to death, and love it. They will destroy everything in sight and you will fucking thank them for it.

Brilliant, evil, adorable little bastards.

Have any awesome kitten stories? (Feel free to inform me that you're really more of a dog person, but watch your back.)

Chocolate

Let me start out this post by declaring that if you don't like chocolate, you are not human. I still love you and all, but you probably lack a soul. 

This was absolutely inspired by Halloween. Candy from strangers is the best kind of candy! And second best to free is the half-price candy that will be everywhere the day after. What is undoubtedly the most iconic, and arguably the most delicious, of these candies? Good ol' chocolate.

Chocolate comes in pretty much any shape and size you can imagine. It makes almost any food better, from caramel to bacon. It can be used as a skin treatment, as you can see the lovely lady in the image is doing. (I swear this blog is not an excuse to post good looking gals covered in random awesome things.) In the right amounts, it can have health benefits - a small amount of dark chocolate can help your heart, and massive amounts of any chocolate has been shown to cure PMS. 

What's your favorite chocolate... or candy in general, for you soulless chocolate-hating bastards?